In My Veins
by Isabella Welch
Summary: AU. Tiva. "I will break any deadline for you, Ziva. Trust me, nothing drives a man harder than the fury of love and the injustice of being forbidden from it." She crosses paths with him, not knowing that what follows along - is a lifetime of commitment, for them both. But a heartbreaking truth from him, will threaten to tear apart the past she vowed fiercely to keep under wraps.
1. Surreal

**Author's Note:** So.. hey there, everyone. Still holding up here (barely) with Ziva-less NCIS and all, it's so hard. I guess AU is what this fandom has left now, which is really saddening. Anyways, I present to you this fic and I hope that it turns out okay!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS. (sad)

**To take down:** It's the Year 2013. Starting from September. And I am not a medical student or anything, but I try my best to keep things accurate. If I'm wrong, please review and let me know! - Isa

Lastly, thank you for reading.

* * *

_"Everything would change. Nothing stays the same."_

_- In My Veins, Andrew Belle_

The wind blew, her brown curls swaying along with it. It would be weird to say, six months ago, she was a completely different person. Her life was completely different. She reckoned, a touch from a person, someone you love - could last for a lifetime. It comes down to moments, moments that make your heart ache with passion and love the other party beyond eternity. She inhaled the sea air, letting all the memories flood her mind, letting them take over her soul. She remembered their story down to every last minute detail, the nights, the days, the weeks, the dialogues and the confessions. It was a mixture of happiness, pain and all encompassing love. These six months taught her more than the years that she has lived. He taught her life and her outlook of it changed, widened. Something about a loving touch that opened her eyes wider to the world.

She allowed the wind to blow her mind to their memories and their story.

Six months ago, Ziva David fell in love; something she never believed in.

_Day 1_

The morning sun shone through the curtains, the rays illuminating her room, making every edge of it softer. In a way, she loves what the rays of the early morning sun can do, its pale yellow light makes the hardest of things seems.. a little bit more softer. It's the start of a new week, new surgeries, new patients and worst of all, more losses. Grunting, she pushed herself off her bed, getting dressed. She faced the mirror, pulling her sleek hair into a neat ponytail.

She wondered if this week would be any different.

* * *

He prayed to God, for the first time in months. He has forgotten how to pray but he assumed God hears his heart so he asked for one chance to live like a man, like a human. He asked to live, not as an extension of life but to be _happy_, be satisfied with this five months he has. It is funny, thinking back his life - he wonders if anything changed. He's still single, still working for the government, nothing has changed.

Till a deadline was set upon him. Terminal cancer for a supposedly healthy man like him. It was not believable, but it happened. He pondered for days, how everything would change.

So he prayed. He prayed to _live_. For a change.

* * *

She step foot into the hospital, and was greeted by several doctors and nurses. People were waiting for loved ones, people were sleeping on each other's shoulders at the waiting hall, doctors grabbing coffee. Standing in the middle of this crowd, she felt lost in a place she has been working in for four years. Her coat slung over her arm, she walked briskly into the doctor's lounge - getting ready to start her dreadfully long shift. People shoved past her, as she donned her white coat on, pinning her name tag on the top right corner of her coat.

_Ziva David, Head of Neurology._

She sighs every time she pins it on her, for somehow, it sounds more like a curse than a reputed status people covet. The lives of people are in those of hands of hers, people have faith and trust in this "status", because as the Head of Neurology, she's the one people seek. But she questions if she is good enough to handle such grave matters.

Her Star of David necklace rests coldly on her nape, reminding her that she chose this life in the United States - and left Israel for it. There's nothing she can do but never look back and move forward. Her thumb pressing lightly on the pendant, she prayed that everything will go well today. Clicking her locker shut, she walks out in hoping today would be different.

* * *

He walks into the hospital, with a myriad of feelings he cannot process. Sadness? Anxiety? He does not know, but he knows for sure that his state of health is fixed. It's terminal, and that's what his doctor is going to say every time he goes for a checkup. Nothing would have changed, the deadline is still there, beckoning and mocking him. Chemotherapy was done just to prolong his life, and truthfully?

It sucks.

It weakens him, reduce him nothing at all. He's an NCIS agent for god's sake, a man who has the strength to take terrorists down. Cancer killed his strength. He feels fine for today, but that is just one day out of the six months he has left.

That is what life is based _on_ now. The fine days and the bad days. What to do and what not to do because of the limited time. What to say and what not to say because hurting people is the last thing he wants. Also, dating anyone at all because making someone fall in love with a dying man is not fair. It's not fair at all.

It wasn't fair for him either. He wants to kiss a woman silly, he wants to hold hands and feel a rush of adrenaline, he wants to claim someone his.

He wants to fall in love.

He waited too long and now there's no time, there's no reason to fall in love no longer. There simply wasn't anything.

* * *

_5 hours later._

It was a horrible morning. There were patients ranting about her, there were patients who didn't deserve to die but was served a death sentence by her, there were patients who are a walking time bomb. Everyone she knew is attending some medical conference in Los Angeles so she's here, alone. Walking to the cafeteria, she cringed at the crazy amount of people swarming the place.

_God help me._ She thought, trying to wade her way past bodies and letting out a mumble of defeat, giving up. She turned around, only to be shocked by a man -

Who was right in her face, literally. She leaped back, and he smiles. "Sorry, the number here are _curr_azyyy, don't ya think?"

He stretched the word crazy, and laughed, his voice deep and throaty. Her mouth formed an 'O', opening and closing again. "It's.. okay." She replies albeit awkwardly too for this man was well, handsome.

Well That Face has A Hand. It took her awhile to realize that his hand was on her arm, and when her eyes travelled there - he realizes too and retracted his hand.

"My apologies, lady. And would you mind to take my sandwich - there's extra cheese but I guess you would not mind, I'm at a loss of appetite at the moment."

Is he asking her to take his_ sandwich?_ Not that it's toxic or anything, but it seemed too intimate an offer to uptake? Yet, her stomach was indeed growling and the queue was too long. She would be embarrassed to accept the sandwich but it would be stupid not to for there's no saying when she's going to eat again. His right eyebrow quirked up.

"Hey, I'm not sick or anything. You look like you could use something to eat." He shrugs.

_Great job, Anthony, for lying about your health status._ Now he's concentrated on her face, his male senses are getting a tad bit insane right now. God, those brown eyes and cheekbones are absolutely to _die_ for.

_Another bad pun._ He gave himself a headslap for that.

"Fine," she snarls, but felt a little sorry for that tone of voice so she added, "And thank you."

Her pager rang, and he shot her a knowing look.

"Sorry, I got to go." Sandwich in hand, she pushed past him, brushing against his shoulder as he paved the way for her. He watched as that mass of brown curly hair slowly disappeared amongst the crowd, thinking about whether he could see her again.

"My pleasure." He whispers, not knowing if he's saying it to himself or her. For some reason, a nagging feeling persisted, he was attracted to her.

And all Ziva thought about was how that actually happened, it was so surreal.

* * *

**A/N:** Please review! **TBC.**


	2. Surprises

**Author's note: **Sorry for the late update and thank you so much for the follows and reviews, I smiled reading them. Considering this is my first fanfiction, somewhat, I am happy to see that people are actually reading it. _- Isa _

* * *

_And I now know the truth,_

_That anything could happen._

_- Ellie Goulding_

* * *

She sat by the bench, munching on the sandwich. The patient paged because he was bored. She stared at him, gave a warning and left. If he didn't create such a nuisance, maybe she could've talked more to that man, well at least - be nicer. That attitude was certainly horrible. She_ snarled at him. Oh god._ Laughing, she chewed on the part of the sandwich and got ready to leave.

It was the first time she had laughed during work in two months. Redoing her ponytail, she thought, maybe that encounter with a man wasn't so bad.

_"Zi!_ You didn't tell me that you hooked up with that yummy piece of a man! He's such a fine masterpiece, I'm drooling my pants completely."

She heard that familiar voice and for a moment, she halted tying her hair.

Nurse Michelle.

"And if you're for a loss of words, yes, I am back from my intensive training in the UK." She said chirpily, moving to Ziva's back, finishing her ponytail for her. "There, nicely tied. You're still this gorgeous, even more so."

Singing praises was Mich's thing. Ziva grinned, and slowly pulled her into a hug, feeling warmth spread throughout her body. Mich was her only friend since she worked in this hospital, she showed her around this place, helped her find an apartment - basically, she was her anchor to settling in comfortably in America. She wouldn't ask for a better friend, Mich always knew that behind Ziva's demeanor at work - lay a fragile woman whose past was too painful to talk about. She never pushed her to say anything, and Ziva never told her anything personal. _Yet._

One day, she might. They pulled apart the embrace, as Mich's blue eyes sparkled. Taking a closer look, Ziva noticed that her blonde hair was longer, more wild, her cheekbones more refined. In short, she was so much more beautiful than she remembered her to be.

"Stop staring at me, I know I've aged and tell me about him." She commanded, her eyes pleading for information.

"There's nothing." Ziva dismissed, flashing back to when their faces almost touched. The sandwich was great but there's no time or luxury to get involved with a man. She had her fair share of male dominance and control in Israel, trusting another man was literally impossible for her to do. Those walls sewn in her heart stood tall and strong, they weren't about to be broken.

"I didn't see nothing."

"What you saw," she pointed her index at her, "was a woman bumping into a nice stranger who offered her his sandwich. That is all. And I got to run, see you after shift." With that, Ziva turned - about to make a run because she knew Mich too well, she will never stop bugging her. Her love life was the focal point of her existence, she swore.

"What I saw, was _chemistry!"_ Mich hollered, her lips tugging upwards, firmly believing in that very statement.

* * *

Tony walked down the streets, his mind fixated on that special encounter with her. He had seen her name tag:_ Ziva David, Head of Neurology._

_Zi-vah. _He's pretty sure that's the way to pronounce it.

It was an Israeli name, he knew.

David though._ Dah-veed._ His mind travelled to Eli David, the cruel, manipulative director of Mossad. NCIS dealt with him a few times regarding Saleem Ulman, exchanging details - unfortunately, Director David was a lying bastard. They never got anywhere close to capturing that terrorist, the last they heard - Eli sent his daughter to Ulman's camp and she was never heard of again. NCIS tried to find her records but it's almost as if - she never existed. So they gave up trying, unable to tell truth from lies. That was four years ago.

Ah, if only four years ago was _now._ He would have his health, and ability to do so many things. The chance of Ziva David being related to the real David in Israel was zero. Those eyes of hers though, those dark irises was burnt at the back of his mind. There was just... something about her. He had found himself unable to take his eyes off her face, her hands.

Question was, why is he drawn to a complete stranger? And he gave her his sandwich. Since when did he find the urge to give people his sandwich? He wouldn't even give McGee one if he begged. Cancer must be doing weird things to him, he wanted to throw himself in work now - even if it was plain paperwork. It was a needed distraction he craved. But he was on permanent leave and he doesn't know why so he asked Gibbs, and the monosyllabic, gruff answer he got was:

"Go_ live."_

Sure, he understood that he needed to live, spend time doing the things he loves.

But it was all futile, doing it alone. It was all futile, having no one to share his experiences with, to wake up with a hole on the left side of the bed. It was all futile, without someone. He travelled to Paris, took pictures. He took loads of pictures.

There was no one in any of pictures. They were plain old buildings, sceneries but there was no one. He got tired, and slowly, gradually - he retreated into a shell where all he thought of was that impending deadline.

They say live life as if you are going to die tomorrow. The implied meaning, is the hope that one will spend his or her life to the absolute fullest because of the limited time. But the ugly truth is far worse, all he thought were the things he can't do, the people he left in agony, he thought of the things he did in the past, regretting them all over again. His heart twisted in utter antagonization for he's trapped in this sick body, unable to accomplish _anything._ But god did he try to fulfill his inner wishes. Except falling in love. That was an impossible task. There is a sea of gorgeous, beautiful, nice women out there in this world, but none of them fits the woman his heart yearns for. The puzzle piece never fell into place, and he never found the "one", as people call it.

He had always lived with a gaping hole in his heart, an emptiness that eats him from within. He busied himself with work, still that couldn't distract from the fact that he feels... _un-_whole. Like something is missing.

Maybe his type just doesn't exist.

_Day 2_

So. He got called by his doctor, again? Obviously his prognosis isn't going to change, but his Dr Hallmark said that it was important, blabbering something in between the lines of clinical trials and tests. He seriously didn't want to walk back into that gloomy place ever again, though his mind did fly to bumping into a certain Dr. Ziva David. He chuckled, knowing that he was dreaming too far off. She was probably booked with another more worthy guy, given her brilliant looks. Donning on a white sweatshirt and a pair of old faded Levis' jeans, he headed out.

* * *

Damn her shift, she had only slept for two hours since yesterday with turbulence before her intern woke her up for a trivial matter. Apparently this intern found it hard to do an IV, and now she's wide awake waiting for her next 5 hour surgery. She tried to get some shut-eye, yet it was impossible, she's just can't sleep at all. Paperwork mocks her, the stacks of patient reports she has yet to review and sign but she really couldn't find the motivation to lift a pen. She had rushed through corridors and saving people for two continuous days (well, almost) and she was beyond exhausted.

She was shrouded by the darkness of the room, and her mind took her to places. It was days like this, she really wanted someone to pull through it all with her. Almost everyone she knew had a loved one to confide in, to bring them food or new clothes when their shifts are long.

She had no one.

But this was the life she chose, the life she made out to be. There can be no looking back, there can be no turning back.

The only kin she left was her father, Eli. Not that he was ever her kin. He was never her father to begin with. A father hugs his daughter, a father cares for his daughter, a father wouldn't send his daughter to a terrorist cell and forgot she existed. His betrayal was a slice through her fragile heart, an act so_ immoral_ - she left Mossad. It was fortunate that she took medical school alongside with Mossad, she had something to rely on if anything goes wrong.

Ever since she got back from that camp, she was a different person. Something in her stirred, the trauma of it all.

Sighing, she decided to leave the on-call room to do rounds.

_Heaven, it can't be. _

There was the stranger who gave her his sandwich, and...he was waving.

At her.


	3. Beseder

_I guess it's just the force of attraction then? Something so strong, it can be felt with a sight. _

* * *

For a moment, her world came to a still. It's almost as if, the pathway from her to him, narrowed and she saw nothing else but that man. She stares absently, surprised when he walks towards her. And she surprised herself again when her legs wouldn't budge. He saunters towards her, a goofy grin on his face. Somehow, she found herself attracted to that grin.

"Hey there, Dr David," he spoke, that grin still plastered on his face, "I see that you have not went home yet. You're wearing the same shirt."

She wanted to reply, but he interrupted, "How was the sandwich? You know, the show Grey's Anatomy - somehow people have this amazing way of coincidentally seeing each other and being more than friends? Like Derek met Meredith in a bar and now they're married." His eyes twinkled with amusement, and she found herself smiling as well.

"The sandwich was fine, and I do not know what you're talking about. It was a _great_ way of trying to pick up women though."

His jaw went agape slightly as he pretended to look offended. She giggled, and continued, "Do not worry, I was kidding. The flirting part."

"Well you must be beautiful for me to pick you up."

"Ah.. And you look..._ old._" She joked, her fingers ruffling through her hair. Tony had no idea why but that simple action kind of attracted him.

"I thought that I looked hot. The American Dream."

"Now you're flattering yourself." It has been five minutes, and he swore that it must have been the most light hearted conversation he had with anyone for a awhile. It was nice to talk to people who doesn't know that you're dying.

"Was _not -_"

"Was_ to."_

They both laughed in the end, and Ziva was suddenly conscious of her behaviour - that was extremely flirty. Whatever her mind prompted her to do, it didn't seem like herself. Well, maybe it has been long she talked to anyone but Michelle and maybe she did crave for a man. Yet, it was dangerous to allow herself the luxury to talk to strangers.

Her instincts told her that he's a nice guy, in which life gave her a coincidence so that she would be cheered up.

An old marine once told her that there's no such things as coincidences, stating that he lives by this rule but sometimes she questions if there really isn't things that just happen. A coincidence. Silence befell on them both as they ran out of words to say.

"Look, would you mind if we um.. have dinner together?" He blurted out, and slapped himself mentally for being so bold. Taken aback, she felt all the words leave her, and she's there awkwardly standing. Damn, she used to be so confident and the medical life probably robbed her of social skills. As she stood there, she thought about how his question came as a shock for no nobody has asked her to go out, in that sense - ever since she stepped foot in America.

In Israel, she was _used_ to men googling over her, to commenting on her beauty and she was proud. She was proud of her body. She used to be able to detach herself from her body, have sex to gain information, in essence - this body she owns is a _tool._ It wasn't right then and it wasn't wrong either, to have saved lives with the information traded. But after being in that cell, she realized how much of herself she has given away, and how much of herself those men took and...she simply couldn't be _proud_ anymore. She couldn't allow herself to go out with men, to date, to love.

All these things she dreamed of when she was a little girl. To find a prince, kiss him and live happily ever after. But she learnt never to depend on happy endings for they do not exist.

"I take it that I was too intrusive. I am sorry, I didn't mean to just.. ask you out, I guess. I.. I just have not gone out with any woman in a while and the truth is, the truth is you stand out and I don't know why." He shrugs, then murmured, "Gosh, I sound creepy."

"No, no, it's just that I think it has been awhile since I had a social life. Well, I am a doctor. My social life revolves around patients..." Trailing off, she adverted his intent gaze.

"Mine revolves around putting bad guys behind bars."

"You are a cop?"

"No, an agent. I work for NCIS. 10 years and going."

A chill ran through her. His profession was so close to what she used to be, and if he ever knew what she was, his impression of her would change drastically.

"You're Israeli, aren't you? Or used to be, since you're working here." Her eyes widened a little as her first thought went to Mossad and her goddamn surname. If he was NCIS, and agent in the field - she was pretty sure Eli David rang a huge bell since NCIS was always somewhat in his topics of discussion. And when Ari was involved. The connection would be too fragile anyway, she just hoped that he wouldn't connect her with that bastard.

He saw a flicker of shock fleeting across her eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came as she composed herself instantly. His eyes narrowed, but he marveled at her ability to put veil on in a matter of seconds.. That took skill.

'Yeah.. I am, just changed the country." He noticed how her eyes dimmed, the sparkle gone. Was it something he said?

And he realized he was questioning so much on a woman he barely knew. But she seemed to not want discuss about her, so he let it go.

"Is dinner still on, Dr David?"

A ghost of a smile went up her face.

"Yes, dinner is on. See you in the cafeteria in an hour, I suppose? I need to tidy up some matters."

_"Beseder."_

_Her heart stopped, for it was the first time in a long time she has spoken to anyone, anyone at all in her native language. He smiles again, "I learnt a bit of Hebrew whilst undercover in Israel."_

Then he turned and left, leaving her starstruck.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the late update! Loads of crap going on in my life now, sighs. And thank you all so much for reviews and follows, I appreciate them a whole lot. _- Isa _

**_TBC. _**


	4. Dancing

_"You're dancing away with my heart, fiercely."_

* * *

He talked in her native language. He actually spoke in Hebrew. And her heart swelled, his words, her language sweet to her ears - it has been forever since she even heard Hebrew. Her first language, the language that defined her. Who she is, and still is - is Israeli. Her soul is Israeli and her love for her country will never change. The sweltering sun burning down on her olive tanned skin, the chanting of morning prayers, the jostling of people, children playing ball down the dry streets - she_ misses_ that. And she misses people speaking to her in her native tongue. So yes, this part of this man lured her into dinner, after all, it's just dinner. A small talk, some food with a relatively nice guy, to feel accompanied before another arduous surgery. She smiles, walking back into the doctor's lounge to have a change of clothing.

He has never been more glad to leave a woman starstruck. She was definitely attracted to him, definitely. He is an attractive man in his early forties, excluding the fact that he is dying. Not being too vain, it's kind of a thing he knew about himself. And he can't help but feel _attracted_ to her too. Her face? There's something about her he just couldn't pinpoint - something she was burying. It may be too soon to tell but his "cop" senses were tingling with albeit a little suspicion. He chuckles, and walked to the cafeteria waiting for his new found person to forget the world with.

She spotted him with his legs crossed, fingers furiously pressing the buttons on his phone. Taking a seat, she found him keeping his phone and holding a gaze with her. It got her thinking, it must be a coincidence. To see him again, on the same level, at the precise moment when she walked out of those doors. She never believed in coincidences, but maybe she was willing to try.

"Tell me, why are you here?" She asked him, tugging her lips ever so slightly and trying not to make every question she asks an interrogation. She can't help it though, it's in her blood. You can't ever forget training, especially if it started from the age of five. She could feel herself staring at him, the suspicions arrowing at him. He shakes his head, and replies, "Visiting my father, he fell down the stairs and.. the doctors would like to keep him under observation." His elbows on the table, his head inched closer to hers, "You doubt me, Doctor?"

"I doubt everybody. It's my job." She answered stiffly, knowing what he told was a lie. Sometimes she just wished she didn't have this annoying ability to tell. It's easier, sometimes to live under a lie. But then again, if he came here to see her... it ain't that bad.

"You doubt me, of course. The way your tone changed and you crossed your arms, keeping a distance away me. I'm an agent, I know."

"And I'm a doctor. I know too." _And I am highly trained in these aspects. Ha_.

"What if I told you I came here because the doctor called and partly because...I am hoping to see _you?"_ he asks, flashing his teeth, once again his eyes sending butterflies flying in her. It was almost as if, it was attraction at first sight.

"I suppose, it would be fine." She knew, what he told her was the truth and if she dared to deduce, the partial truth. But for once, she wished she could treat a stranger as a nice human being rather than having her ninja senses stalking her relentlessly. There is good in this world, just that she hadn't seen much of it. And her belief that people are good was literally low after seeing how people could bear to kill themselves and take others along, too. It was an act so cruel, so inhumane - it made her sick. Because they took her sister too. Her baby, sweet sister who once thought that she was a princess and that unicorns exists amongst them. So small, so innocent, so... compassionate. Even though she was enrolled into Mossad as well, Eli was less tough on her in comparison to others. She was the baby of the family and even this cold-hearted man had a soft spot for her. Yet, Ziva was neither jealous nor envious. She was glad. Glad that her sister be freed from the monstrosity she was put through. Her passing... was the turning point where her heart darkened, closed-up.

"You okay down there? You got the lost look going-on somewhere there." He waved his hands blatantly in her face, sure that whatever she was thinking, wherever she was - it was a dark place. He had seen this look before. Always in a fleeting moment in Gibbs eyes when, when he thought of Shannon or Kelly.

"Yeah, yeah..I'm fine." She snapped out of her daze, albeit a little frazzled. "Let's get on this meeting, however you want to address it. I think it was once in a blue _lagoon_ since I had dinner with anyone."

"Same here and moon."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Not lagoon, uh moon."

"What does moon got to do with blue anyway?"

"It's um blue under the dark sky."

Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she hastily said, "Never mind."

"Yeah, never mind."

"English confuse. Pardon me, I speak several languages," she said, as his jaw dropped, "I can mess them up from time to time." She shot him a look, her heart rising at his shock. She wanted to impress him.

"How many?"

"Ten, including the language of _love."_

"My, my Doctor David, is that flirting?" he inquired, feeling a sly smile creeping up his face. Damn, he likes her. He actually likes her and he actually is enjoying himself in this moment, with her. Her replies, her smiles draws him in. Even the way her eyes twinkled. There was more to her than being a doctor, but he'd let that go. Why worry when he could let himself be in the company of a beautiful and smart lady?

"If you say so."

* * *

_**A/N:**_I apologize for the long break, I will try my best to upload within the week! Been busy with school and matters, haha. I thank you all immensely for staying on and following and all those reviews. I appreciate them so much. :) - Isa

**If you have any suggestions, or any constructive feedback, feel free to review or PM me. I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**_TBC._**


	5. Promise

"Promises.

We just need to keep in mind,

That they can be broken too."

* * *

_12 November, 2002_

_I stumbled my way through the smoke and ashes, hearing the cries of people injured, people seeing their loved ones dead. I stumbled my way through the thick debris on the ground, never looking up. In short, I was afraid of what I might see. I could hear the tragedies, but I was afraid to see the tragedies. I failed to stop the bombing attempt by terrorists and this end was my fault. My fault and only mine. I was too slow to come to a realization on where the bomb might detonate. I was fine, other than a few cuts that probably needed 13 stitches or so._

_I'll be fine._

_My partner, Nouri is dead. When I was knocked over by the blast, I caught a glimpse of him as he was incinerated by the explosion. No words could describe what I felt for I felt nothing. My eyes saw his face, his roughly chiseled jaw and how his expression it turned into what you'd describe as pure fear before... nothing. He was my partner for three years, we were friends. It was only with him, he went beyond the boundaries of being an officer. He actually cared about my well-being and I wasn't a tool to him. But I felt nothing as I watched him die._

_Who have I become?_

_Today was my birthday._

_I was supposed to be having the time of my life._

* * *

He pondered all of her words. He pondered over her body language when she's with him. He pondered over her everything. As an agent of over ten years, he knew that there was just something different about her that sets her apart from regular women. Regular, normal women. She was so calm and composed, all her answers were short, carefully chosen. Even with the flirting, or not - she has kept a far distance away from him. It could be because he was a stranger, after all, or something else. He lied about his visit here and she stared and glared at him as if she knew he lied.

For all intents and purposes, she isn't supposed to even know that he lied. He's well trained undercover and he knows it. Lies slip out of his lips easily, fast and always credible. Like one of Gibbs' rules: Be specific when you lie. Most people wouldn't make such a fuss over one line, but she did. Her guards perked up instantly, her entire demeanor... _shifted._ From the doctor he met with smiles and giggles, she wasn't exactly the same person. And she intrigued him even more. She had this fierce aura that attracted him.

She was really different, in a dark and mysterious way.

Besides, who speaks ten languages?

"Have you not seen a woman eat before?" she snapped, aware that his gorgeous eyes were glued to her all this while. He didn't even need to say a word, she knew that he was thinking about her, about her words. It was written all over that dreamy face of his.

"I have not seen _you_ eat before." he counteracted, only causing her eyes to narrow with annoyance. And he wonders what happened to the flirty woman earlier. My, was she flirty and fun. She was annoyed at him and he enjoys seeing her annoyed, his skin goes all tingly and fired-up. Liking her was one thing. He vowed not to get attached with obvious life shortening issues, but he was tired of cooping up at home - a_lone._

He's having fun now, he's happy. It's hard to find happiness when all you've got left was five months. She made him happy, which was weird because he doesn't even know her. He wants to know her. Just knowing, that is all - nothing more. That should be fine, make friends and slowly slip out of her life. If he even got into her life the first place.

Gibbs told him to live, and here he was, living.

With a stranger he thinks he's attracted to, he's pretty sure he is but he wonders if it's the cancer talking or him.

"Nice one." she smiles again, sending shots of ecstasy to his heart. God it has been long since he felt this way. On a high.

Then, this beautiful moment got ruined by her pager's shrill alarm. She fumbled to take it from her pocket and cursed under her breath, before looking really apologetic towards him, as his face fell from knowing that it was work.

"Sorry I..."

"Got to go." he finishes her sentence for her, a little disappointed that they didn't get to spend much time with each other. But he understands for he's the one who used to rush to work with a phone call.

"Yeah, I got to go."

As she turned to leave once more, he instinctively reached to grab her hand, before blurting out, "I don't know what we're doing but I'd like to know you. Meet me tomorrow, if you would so I know that you want that too, god this is so awkward... 12 pm in the garden outside this gloomy place."

"I.. I'd..This is a little too bold, even for you?" she says, noticing that his hand was still grabbing her arm. He noticed as well before sheepishly letting go.

"All friendships start with someone being bold." Remarking like a pro, he grinned as her the tight line on her face ignited into a smile as well.

"I'll be there."

****_Day 3_

She tapped her foot furiously, under the burning sun waiting, waiting for that man to show up, like he promised. The garden was beautiful and full of patients sitting and spending time with their loved ones or friends, funny how she notices it now when she's impatient for a certain someone. Glancing at her watch incessantly, it has already been half an hour.

Once again, she feels her heart shattering, falling into nothingness. She was strong, dammit but tears lacing the back of her throat proved otherwise. She had allowed herself to let go, to invite people in and this is what they do. They disappoint her. She has been stood up, _she,_ a bright, smart, attractive woman was stood up by a stranger she felt an attraction to. It has only been half an hour but she wanted someone, for once to keep their promises. To her, to him. She made an effort to fulfill that promise, damnit, can't he too?

Minutes clocked by, as she waited impatiently and annoyed.

She glanced at her watch once more.

1pm.

Great, he was now one hour late. _Damn him._ One hour was little compared to the weeks she waited for her father to return when she was five. He told her that he will be back in two days, so two days she waited. Two days she drew pictures of her family, wanting to impress him when he came back. Two days became five and five became weeks. She sat in her room, seeking comfort in Ari when he told her fervently that he needed to work to keep the family alive. Hell, she believed that.

So Eli came back after weeks and didn't even give her a second look. She was hurt, so hurt. And she threw her drawing away, now fully aware that work triumph family for her father. She spent her life with people breaking promise after promise.

Not that she expected a nice stranger to do so too.

She walked back into the hospital, alone. Her cheeks were burning, and whether it was the sun or her humiliation that she allowed herself to wait - she couldn't tell.

Ziva David doesn't simply wait for a random man, she never did. Because she knew, from young and through adulthood, waiting was futile yet she allowed herself to do so, again. And she was let down, again. She has faced people dying from bombs before and a matter like this should be insignificant, damn right it should _not_ be worth her heart breaking or her tears falling. She has changed and she doesn't know how she did.

She felt as if she made a mistake, only she wasn't the one who made it.

* * *

He laid uselessly in bed, drained of energy once more. He couldn't even move for heaven's sake. This is one of the bad days, when the cancer talked more than it should. Worst of all, he felt absolutely horrible that he promised Ziva that he'll meet her and even _proposed_ the meeting, only to leave her to stand on her own. His bones ached deeply, his forehead breaking into a cold sweat. The pain medication have yet to settle in, and he was waiting for it to do so.

He let a woman down.

One he _really_ liked.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Decided to hype things up a little, we'll see what happens next between them both. Things will be a little darker and more fun too. :) - Isa

**_Extra note:_** I'll include a little of Ziva's or Tony's past here and there sooner.


End file.
